“I feel that you must resign yourself to taking me as I am, that is, with the congenital quality which ever since my childhood has caused my spiritual life to be completely dominated by a sort of profound ‘feeling’ for the organic realness of the World. At first it was an ill-defined feeling in my mind and heart, but as the years have gone by it has gradually become a precise, compelling sense of the Universe’s general convergence upon itself; a convergence which coincides with, and culminates in, him in whom all holds together, and whom the Society taught me to love.
I have found an extraordinarily rich and inexhaustible source of clarity and interior strength, and an atmosphere outside which it is now physically impossible for me to breathe, to worship, to believe. My attitude is simply the result of my own absolute inability to contain my own feeling of wonderment.
Everything stems from that basic psychological condition, and I can no more change it than I can change my age or the color of my eyes. Never has Christ seemed to me more real, more personal or more immense.
“How, then, can I believe that there is any evil in the road I am following?
I fully recognize, of course, that Rome may have its own reasons for judging that, in its present form, my concept of Christianity may be premature or incomplete and that at the present moment its wider diffusion may be inopportune.
Obviously I cannot abandon my own personal search – that would involve me in an interior catastrophe and in disloyalty to my own cherished vocation.
Look on this letter simply as a proof that you can rely on me unreservedly to work for the kingdom of God, which is the one thing I keep before my eyes and the one goal to which science leads me.”
Quote taken from Letter of Teilhard de Chardin in 1951 to the Jesuit Superior General in Rome; courtesy of Colin Coward of Changing Attitude.